Sunday, August 27, 2006

Résumé Font Offends Employer

The Onion

Résumé Font Offends Employer

CHARLOTTE, NC—The decision to set his résumé in default-font Times–New Roman "deeply, personally, and irrevocably" offended a prospective employer of Seth Hershey Monday. "I look for quality, pedigree, and competency in the résumés that cross my desk, but I don't care if you founded the Harvard School of Business—if you're going to use a crap typeface like this, you might as well send me a finger painting in your own shit," said HealthBest South Associate Vice-President Dick Scottsfield shortly after hurling the document across his office in disgust. "Did he think we'd accept something like this here? Does he take me for a damn fool? If he had chosen the correct font, why, I could've even overlooked this cheap, 14-lb. cotton stock paper." Scottsfield said he intends to offer the job to the first person who uses a decent 12-point Cheltenham Book with an elegant leading.
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Alright, where do I start... how about THIS IS FUCKING PATHETIC!!! Because of a fuckin FONT, come on people! This world has gone completely out of control (as am I after reading this)! This is the problem in the job world, too many picky little bitches that have to have every little detail their way. Employers need to get it through their damn heads that not every person you hire has to be exaclty like you & even know what damn font you prefer. If every employer was like this little piece of shit immature vermin we wouldn't even have a job force much less a worker class society.

This is shameful, the man was probably a genius for all that idiot knows. And just becasue his choice of font he goes & throws out the resume. The man could've even brought that company the best revenue it's ever seen but noooooo because he used times new roman fontface. Fuckin dickhead! He sure lives up to his name dick scottsfield -aka- dicksuk scottie.

I hope when that little bastard scottsfield (no way I'm giving that fucker a capital letter in his name) dies his family uses times new roman on his damn gravestone.... piece of shit! It's people like that whom don't even deserve the opportunity to even BE an employer much less an employee.

And lets hope to (insert your god's name here) that fucktard little twatwaffle s.o.b.'s like this bastard NEVER get the chance to stick his tiny pecker in any leading position like say president/king (or queen) or even a mayor or this planet is surely fucking doomed! I hope whoever gets the job that used his preferred font is a fuking idiot that will bring that corp down to the very mud which it was founded.

That's my little Fuck You! rant for the time being... btw .... I USED TIME'S YOU BITCH scottsfield
!

Sincerely...
~Eternal ("Fuck you and your font preference") Fallout

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